The Most Important Part of the Journey

In our world today there are a number of different types of people who look at life in slightly different ways. There is a common acceptance that we are all on a journey, but there is huge differences in what the most important aspect of that journey may be. Let me explain and maybe you might be able to spot yourself in these ideas.

The Starting Point is the Main Thing - there is an ancient Chinese proverb which says 'A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step' and then there is the old saying from Ireland when a young man lost on the back-roads of a the Irish countryside stops to ask a farmer for directions to Dublin. "Ah," says the farmer, "if you want to get to Dublin you don't want to be starting here!" Many people think that the most important thing about this journey of life is where we start from and they spend endless hours reading, searching, exercising, and planning in an attempt to begin their journey from what they believe is the optimum location. What they may have missed is that in the process of reaching the optimum starting point their journey has already begun and their efforts to that point may have only accomplished lateral motion and not forward momentum.

The Destination is the Main Thing - for every journey there is a starting point and there is a destination and this group of people are those who cannot wait to get the end. They are the ones most likely to ask, "Are we there yet?" countless times before the journey has effectively begun. For this group it is all about reaching the goal, attaining the prize, completing the task. There is little regard for the process that has been undertaken to achieve the goal, the bottom line is simple for them - the destination is the main thing, little else matters, as long as we get where we are going. The scrap-book for this group is full of things that happened once the destination was reached. There is very little of what happened along the way and if the destination is never reached then the sense of disappointment and dissatisfaction is intense.

The Journey Itself is the Main Thing - for this group of people the destination will arrive whenever it arrives, they are more interested in what the journey itself is like and what they will discover along the way as they travel the road they are on. They may have made a mental note of where they started however they are not that concerned about the start or the end - its the middle that captivates their attention. There is something special felt by this group who enjoy taking the time to absorb their surroundings, to meet new people along the way, to engage with others who have different life experiences than them, even if they are not heading in the same direction. The scrap-book for this group is filled with stories of what happened along the way - and if they don't reach their destination, they had fun along the way.

A lot of "Destination" people want to join the "Journey" group as they acknowledge the wisdom in taking note of things along the way and learning as they travel the road they are on, but they do so by making sure they have their 'E-Z-pass' in the window, their GPS with 'real-time traffic hazard' notification, and a full tank of gas to avoid those pesky delays like stopping for re-fuelling.

The final group are a small but ever increasing group. The final group are those for whom "The People You Journey With are the Main Thing". This group have realised that destinations are important, but they are changeable. They have realised that the experiences that occur along the way are important, but they have realised that without people to share those experiences with, the meaning decreases considerably. This group long for withnesses to walk through life with. They realise that they need to connect with others, to travel with others, to journey together, to share experiences, to carry each other's burdens, to be with people. This group has learned that the people who you do life with are more important than the places you go to or even the path you take to get there. Without people to share the experience with the journey itself becomes meaningless and the destination becomes hollow.

What group are you in?

Co-dependency - not with drugs but with people

This coming Sunday I am bringing a message to our church on being co-dependent. Typically co-dependency is a term used to describe an individual's need or reliance on some sort of drug. As I have been thinking about connections over the past few weeks it has become more and more apparent that while many of us may think that we are completely self-sufficient and self-reliant, we need to break out of that lie and realize that from the beginning of time, we were created to work with others.

If we take a step back in time to the garden of Eden where God made the light and darkness, the air and the water, the sky and the land, the animals and man, it became apparent that God could not just create one man - even the Lord stated that it was not good for man to be alone. He created a helper - a mate - he created woman.

So why do we believe that we are better off alone?Why do we buy into the lie that says, 'I am an island' or 'I don't need anyone else'? I think the answer is simple - if God created us to be with someone - then the devil just wants to go against what God intended - he wants us to be alone, or even worse - he wants us to think that we will be ok if we are alone.

I have been reading Leonard Sweet's book, "11 Indispensable Relationships You Can't Be Without" and have been considering what Sweet calls 'Withnesses'. As Sweet puts it, these are the people who are 'with' you and 'witness' the things that you do or that God does through you.

Who are the people that you do life with? Who are your withnesses? Who do you know will be right beside you every step of your life journey? It should be an interesting week as I develop my thoughts and I will put them up here as a central depository.

So a few thoughts to begin the week - I am sure I will add more each day.

Can You Hear The Song In My Head?

Last night I witnessed the sweetest thing I have seen in a long time - my 4 year old daughter leaned into my wife, placing her head up beside my wife's ear and asked, "can you hear the song in my head mommy?"

The song in my little angel's head was 'Blessed assurance" and with my wife unable to hear it, Cara proceeded to sing it and share the music. I was in awe of this exchange. The innocence of my daughter thinking that the music she could hear inside her head was loud enough for others to hear, and beside that, the song was an old hymn, albeit to a new tune.

What would it be like if we could actually hear the things in other people's heads? Maybe Bruce Almighty gave us a little insight to the clamor we would be subject to if we could actually hear what was in everyone's heads. I wonder if like me, you begin to think through a simple concept like this to its logical conclusion and get blown away at how many people there are with how many thoughts, and yet God is able to listen to them all - and He doesn't get things confused. I have two kids and I get their names mixed up.

It just shows you how great our God is.

Listening is an action

As I prepare for Thursday night's college-age gathering I have been thinking about who we listen to, what we listen to, and how much influence those things have over us. I am becoming more and more convinced that we take what we hear to be the truth with minimal checking of the facts of what we heard.

Last week I came home to find a warning posted on my front door from the Animal Control department of our city. Apparently the new tenants in the rental behind us had called Animal Control because our dog was outside and it was cold and raining. So a very dutiful officer came to our house to 'investigate'. I had the girls at swimming lessons and Julie was delayed at an appointment - hence Ollie was running around the back garden in the rain - as he is want to do. Anyhoo, the officer takes a couple of photos and writes a warning stating that he was informed that we keep the dog out 24/7 and that this is not appropriate for the weather.

So the officer heard one report, didn't check any facts and jumped to some very serious conclusions. I went to Animal Control the next day to set the record straight but apparently my insistence that the facts be corrected to reflect the truth was determined to be 'nit-picking' by the officer and his supervisor.

So what is my point? Well, we are influenced by what we hear. The officer was apparently told that the dog was outside 24/7 and was outside in the rain at the time of the call. When he arrived at our house and found Ollie outside he assumed the information was correct - but his mindset was established from the initial call - we were bad owners because we kept our dog outside.

The simple truth was that the only time Ollie had been out that day was from 3:30-7:30pm - during which time the officer visited. He doesn't stay out 24/7. But the facts didn't matter. The initial hearing set the tone for how that officer views me and how I treat my dog.

What have you heard about someone that has set your mind thinking along one path about that person only for you to later learn more information which actually dismisses your original thoughts? Were you man enough to admit your mistake or did you just persevere with your misguided intention?

I think we need to consider how we respond to the things that we hear and the people who speak into our lives. Do we weigh up the information, check the facts and act with knowledge or do we jump in with both feet at the first thing we hear, only to regret it and have to spend time mending fences?

Who do you listen to?

One of the charges often levelled against me is that I want to do things my own way. This is very often a very accurate assessment of the situation, however, what people who make the accusation often do not know is that I have spent some time discussing the situation with a number of people beforehand and that 'my way' is more of a conglomeration of my personal thoughts with the direction and suggestions of others. Hence when I make a decision or move on a subject I tend to come across as being set in my ways and wanting to see my thing accomplished.

Now I know that I could go about the things I want to see done with a little more grace and humility, but when it comes to trying to accomplish a task, once I have heard counsel from others and set a course I tend to not waver too much from that course.

Is this a good or a bad thing? Hmmmmm, I wonder.

Who do you listen to? Do you listen to anyone? Do you allow anyone to speak into your life? Does anyone have the 'last word' in discussions with you?

Questions, questions.

Connections

For a week or so now I have been thinking about this past year and contemplating the upcoming year. The one thing that I am certain of is that I have few answers to all of the questions that are swirling in my mind. Late this evening as I was once again running things through my mind I had a thought, an idea, an inspiration even – or maybe it was just perspiration.

As I look back on 2008 I wonder if this past year was ‘the year of the head’.

Let me explain a little. As we relate to one another there are multiple connections that are made. Some are cerebral – head connections – which are more really based in communication of knowledge and education. There are connections of the heart – heart connections – which are more feeling based, emotional, and often deeper and longer lasting than head connections. There are also physical connections, where we stand beside one another and labor together at a given task. For these connections there is a definite end product – whatever we were working on together – but there do not need to be any heart or head connections. Physical connections appear to me to be the easiest to make but ultimately are the shallowest of connections. Don’t get me wrong, physical connections are vitally important in the life of a church, but unless they are physical connections made in close proximity with others and involve either heart or head connections they are rarely that deep. There were numerous physical connections made through the renovation of the Kingdom Kids facility and some of those may have developed further, but for those who spent a morning or even a day working beside others they made some connection, but rarely deep connections.

If we consider head connections next and continue to use the renovations as our illustration then maybe you were involved in some of the discussions and debates over paint color, or stage position or other such aspects of the design or implementation. Your connections moved from just being physical to being cerebral – you will have connected with others on two levels. The relationships will be stronger than those discussed earlier, but it is rare that lifetime accountability-partner type relationships will be formed based solely on these interactions.

For the deepest connections to occur there needs to be more than just working together, there needs to be more than even discussion and debate, there needs to be a connection of the heart. Connections of the heart are the strongest bonds between us. Connections of the heart will cause a mother to give no thought to sacrifice whatever is needed to help their child, or for one brother to drop everything and rush to the hospital to be with his sibling when accidents or calamity strikes. Connections of the heart will cause people to do the craziest things, will cause incredible self-sacrifice, will drive one person to walk through whatever pain or hardship is required to see their friend helped. This is the connection that David and Jonathon had in the Old Testament. David loved Jonathon like a brother and would do anything he could to help him, even at great risk to himself.

I think that in 2008 we spent a reasonable time in physical relationships with the renovations and activities like StreetReach. I think we spent a lot of time in head relationships as we studied things like the “Truth Project” and other such head-knowledge activities during our Sunday morning sermon series. Both of these activities were good and accomplished a lot of beneficial things, however I wonder if we were a little light on the third aspect of connections – heart connections. Maybe this is just for me, maybe no-one else feels this way.

I have a sense that the incoming year will be a tremendous opportunity for us to develop heart connections with one another, however, this will take considerable work and even risk as we make the deepest connections with others, but as we make those connections we need to realize that they will last a lifetime.

As I said at the beginning of this piece, I do not claim to have all the answers, but I wanted to share what was on my heart and see if it resonates with yours. Are you ready for the New Year? Do you feel that 2008 was a year when you made a lot of physical and head connections at Mt Oak but were missing something? As you have read this did something inside you say, “That is what I want, heart connections!”? Are you willing to make heart connections?

I am.

I am reminded of an old phrase which says, ‘People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.’ This entire message may be just personally for me, but I believe that I need to make heart connections this incoming year.

Are you willing to join me?

Everyone's a writer

I have realised that I actually blog randomly, yet every week I have to write an article for our church e-news. I think that my creative energy, be they as little as they are go into my e-news and then the blog suffers. So, since I have to write for the e-news I thought I would add some of those ramblings to this site too.

Enjoy

J