The Scars of Being Up Front

I started back to work this week, another semester of eager young minds to fill with as much knowledge as they can hold. As I sat on Sunday evening doing some final preparations, I checked my e-mail to look for any last minute schedule adjustments. In my inbox was one of those e-mails - you know, the ones where the author has some 'friendly advice' which is designed to make you a 'better person'. Yeah, that's right - someone had an issue with a presentation I gave to my work colleagues during a meeting on Wednesday morning and decided that they needed to correct my errant ways.

On Monday morning, when I had settled at my desk and sat awaiting my lecture to print, I once again checked my e-mail. There in my inbox was another e-mail of a similar vein. When an e-mail says "this is not meant to be offensive" then you can guess what will appear in the lines that follow. I wish though that with all of the means of communication available to us that we would learn how to confront or challenge without causing offense. Being up front in a large church and leading a faculty in a medium sized university inevitably paints a large target on your back. Every word that you say, every action that you do is under scrutiny and judgment by every member of the audience. And, if this weekend is anything to go by, people are not shy about helping me 'amend my ways'.

Now, please, don't get me wrong, I am open to correction and improvement but there has to be a way that we can write suggestions for correction that are not offensive.
The advent of e-mail and electronic communication appears to have empowered people to make suggestions to those whom they hear yet do not really know. Written communication has always been around however when one writes a letter there is always some re-reading before the letter is mailed out. There may also be a little time delay between the letter being penned and the letter being sent. Often, the gap brings additional clarity to the author and many times letters of 'correction' will not be sent. E-mail however has meant that corrective advice is documented and sent and of-times in the heat of frustration by whatever has been witnessed.

If you have a word of 'correction' for me from something you have seen me say or do then can I encourage you to sleep on your thoughts and write when you are not in a state of anger or frustration. Your good message is often lost if the tone is antagonistic.

Just saying, because believe it or not, words cut deep.