The Scars of Being Up Front

I started back to work this week, another semester of eager young minds to fill with as much knowledge as they can hold. As I sat on Sunday evening doing some final preparations, I checked my e-mail to look for any last minute schedule adjustments. In my inbox was one of those e-mails - you know, the ones where the author has some 'friendly advice' which is designed to make you a 'better person'. Yeah, that's right - someone had an issue with a presentation I gave to my work colleagues during a meeting on Wednesday morning and decided that they needed to correct my errant ways.

On Monday morning, when I had settled at my desk and sat awaiting my lecture to print, I once again checked my e-mail. There in my inbox was another e-mail of a similar vein. When an e-mail says "this is not meant to be offensive" then you can guess what will appear in the lines that follow. I wish though that with all of the means of communication available to us that we would learn how to confront or challenge without causing offense. Being up front in a large church and leading a faculty in a medium sized university inevitably paints a large target on your back. Every word that you say, every action that you do is under scrutiny and judgment by every member of the audience. And, if this weekend is anything to go by, people are not shy about helping me 'amend my ways'.

Now, please, don't get me wrong, I am open to correction and improvement but there has to be a way that we can write suggestions for correction that are not offensive.
The advent of e-mail and electronic communication appears to have empowered people to make suggestions to those whom they hear yet do not really know. Written communication has always been around however when one writes a letter there is always some re-reading before the letter is mailed out. There may also be a little time delay between the letter being penned and the letter being sent. Often, the gap brings additional clarity to the author and many times letters of 'correction' will not be sent. E-mail however has meant that corrective advice is documented and sent and of-times in the heat of frustration by whatever has been witnessed.

If you have a word of 'correction' for me from something you have seen me say or do then can I encourage you to sleep on your thoughts and write when you are not in a state of anger or frustration. Your good message is often lost if the tone is antagonistic.

Just saying, because believe it or not, words cut deep.

The Right to Urge or the Urge to Write?

It is interesting how many people spend greater and greater portions of their life writing about what they are doing. There has been an explosion in the social networking scene with an insane notion that people might actually be interested in exactly what I am doing right at this very moment in time. The advent of programs like Twitter and facebook updates before them allowed people to communicate the most trivial of details about their lives and their real time existence however to what purpose? What do we really gain from 'telling people' how we feel at a certain moment in time - when often the people we inform can do nothing about our situation? Have we reduced our ability to communicate with other human beings in a meaningful way and to develop friendships that will stand the test of time to mere media style sound-bytes of what we consider to be relevant information?

Blogs sites like livejournal, xanga and blogspot have for a long time now been repositories of the words that ricochet around inside people's minds looking for a place to find a permanent home. When I was little those repositories were the infamous 'diary'. Teenagers everywhere (especially girls) had little notebooks where they would write their thoughts down each night before retiring to bed. These books would become like best friends and confidants who would be the only other thing that knew every deep dark secret of teenage angst. Those diaries would hold every inner thought and would consequently be placed amongst the most highly treasured and protected possessions. But can we honestly say that releasing these inner most thoughts from the closed pages of a diary equate to the world wide release through an internet blog site? Where did the secrecy go? Where did the intimacy of having a safe location where you could store your deepest dreams, hurts or fears? Have we allowed technology to create a society where there is no inner voice, no filter that sifts what is flowing out and attempts to determine whether what we produce actually shoudl be produced? Have we ultimately lost the thing that we all crave so much - have we lost our ability to cultivate and maintain friendships?

I fear that we have. I fear that we have lost the ability to pick up the phone and call another human being and to discuss the same issues that so easily appear on our Twits or FB updates. It is easier to leave a comment on a person 'wall' for them to read than it is to actually tell them in person - after all, what will they say? What if they don't like it? It seems that our insecurities have risen to such a pinnacle that we leave 'hit-and-run' messages with our 'friends' and think that we are truly developing the kinds of connections that matter.

So next time you get the urge to write, let me (ironically through my own writings) urge you to consider why you are writing. What are you trying to convey? Who are you trying to convey it to? Are you writing to encourage a friend? Then why don't you call them instead, write them a card and deliver it by hand. Engage in face to face dialogue, build your friendship - and make it last.

Meeting Together

So we are in the beginning stages of launching a new small group ministry at Mt Oak. The question is, what makes it new? What is it that will distinguish this year's small group ministry from previous years? How will we overcome the issues that were faced in the past? How will we overcome any inertia in people that makes them resistant to meeting in a small group?

A while ago I wrote about the McDonaldization for church and how some pastors my try to reproduce exactly what another church does with their congregation - the problem with this is that God may not have called them to be that other church - they need to do what God has called them to do. How does this apply to small groups you may ask, well, we would like to create a model for small groups at Mt Oak that will be followed by all groups even though the subject matter that each group is discussing/studying may be different.

So what is the model? It is a simple one and consists of 4 things to do each week as well as an outward focus where the group reaches out to their friends or community.

Worship - each week every small group will have some form of worship. Worship is not just about singing, it is about taking time to focus on God and tell Him how much we love Him. Worship can accomplished with singing, with meditation, through art or painting (always fun to do in small group) or just reading a passage aloud. Whatever way each group does it, they must do worship - worship connects us to God. It is important.

Word - there should be some form of bible study or devotional study. Some groups may use a book they are corporately reading, some may study a book of the bible, others may do topical studies and prepare them each week. There are loads of resources available - DVD series, video podcasts that can be shown on the TV, access to teaching material is not a difficult. Let's make disciples by studying the Word.

Prayer - each group will be encouraged to keep a prayer journal and to record the things they pray for and also the ways in which God answers their prayers. How encouraging is it to hear that God has met a need or fixed a situation? Shouldnt we be celebrating those things? Small group is a place where personal prayer can easily occur and celebration of God's power can also be done.

Witness - each group should be looking for ways to grow - numerically and not just educationally. Personal invitation to a small group is a key way to bring people into a church and introduce them to Jesus. Each of our groups needs to develop an outward focus - and each focus can be different - as long as it forces us out into our community.

We can do this, we just need to stop saying stuff like, "We have never done it that way before" and "I dont know if I like that" and just get on with it and do it. It has been my experience that even though some people may not have used this model before, once they do try it they will find their groups come to life.

Let's make it happen